Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you win again, gameday.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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