Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
