So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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