Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
