dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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