Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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