i just had sex bonerless
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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