every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
