My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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