ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
