I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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