i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
