I swear she didn't look like that last week.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
