Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
