No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
