Buhtt sex?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
