last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Small penises have feelings too.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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