now i know why i became what i already was.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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