I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
