Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
