Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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