I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
