YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
