I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
