Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
