Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
