you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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