How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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