I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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