I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
