And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So apparently I’m into choking now
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
