sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
