3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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