I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
