how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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