Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize