the condom got lost in my hair
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
