I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
