508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize