I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Randomize
