No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
