I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
