Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
