Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
