the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
