porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
