Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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