I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
