So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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