'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I intend to get homeless drunk
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
