Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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