there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
