It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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